.Upside Down.Uhh, bouncing.

walking alone, on this path I cannot see..
breathing in, I let darkness cover me..
I can only walk, too tired to run sayang.

my heart beats faster, thinking of you..
what's a lonely soul to do?..
true love seems beyond us all..
stumble once, and for an eternity fall..

one step forward, then three steps back
where's reality? life's all an act.=.=''
not thinking, I take one more step
never considering the after-effect..

life isn't always how it may seem..
twists and turns- is it only a dream?I HOPE SO.
I'm torn away
endless night, no hint of day ..


Ouh dear..
I neva forced u to choose..
but u can't keep both, so one of us u must lose..
It feels as if you're being torn from my sides..
The pain of which is so unbearable I just want to hide..

why can't I simply stay?
Why in the world does it have to end this way?
I can't run away and forget about this mess
I can't get a rest, a break much less
One or the other?
Charming or kind?
The choice is far too painful to make, u cannot decide!
But u knows the answers to ur problems are hidden inside...

It's tearing me apart
Utterly destroying my heart
Making me miserable through and through
Please don't take me apart like this
I love you!

I know I have to make a stand
But if I do so, on one of us will there left be a brand?
My heart in my chest, rest to lay
The cruelty of impending choice tortures me day by day

Aren't we past this blatant immaturity?
Stop quarreling and get over this insecurity
My pain is invisible to you it seems
I'm silent about the situation
But inside I want to scream!

Please....oh, please don't do this to me...
Can't you see this ain't just about us three...?
Can't take it anymore...I'm hurting inside...
Forget about the jealousy....just forget about your pride!
I can't be strong....please help me be strong....
Because of this I'm torn....

Untill when?..u'r the greatest shot.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's nthn much to share out.sco life is just lyke normal.then..actly of coz ade stories.
tp rs mcm mls plak nk crite.lol. (;

.S.I.L.E.N.T. .S.C.R.E.A.M.

Have you ever felt that feeling whenever you see someone, you freeze and your heart starts to beat so fast and you have to hold on to something so you wouldn’t fall?

Sometimes when they talk to you, do you utter stupid words and end up embarrassing yourself?

It’s not that you want it, but just the presence of that person makes your heart beat faster and slower at the same time. Would you be brave and admit your feelings?

What if it’s simply not meant to be, do you give up?

Or keep trying and end up with nothing?

Well, that’s love.

Its irony speaks, but you got to take risks to get answers.

When you meet someone and you gradually fall in love with that person, try to express your love to her because every moment you wasted would be equal to tons of regret in the end.

Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. Because when they are gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry they won’t hear you anymore.

The love you can’t have lasts the longest, feels the strongest and hurts the most.

It’s so hard pretending to be friends with someone special when every time you look at that person it just hurts even more knowing that all you see is ultimately everything that you want but you can’t have.

Isn’t it stupid when you say,

“no, I don’t love that person anymore.”

But still, when the memories are refresh and that person become visible again in your life.
You’ll stare and say,
“Damn it! Why can’t I forget you?”

So each time I see you, I say to myself, “I moved on.”

Each time you smile at me, I say to myself, “yeah, were just friends!” But every time you look at me, I end up saying, “Shit! It’s so hard to pretend!”
It’s hard to love someone who is not serious enough. Time would give you chances to talk, chances to be together and chances to share.
See how it hurts?! You only have chances, just chances.

A heartbreak isn’t as loud as a bomb exploding.

Sometimes it can be as quiet as a feather falling and the most painful thing is no one really hears it except you.

You can handle the pain that you feel and make others believe that you can move on.

But you can never deny the truth to yourself that the person who failed and hurt you is still the person you’ll choose to love.

I cried so many times because of a love lost and a love I never really had. I suffered pain worse than dying. But feelings change and there’s one lesson that everybody should learn in time…move on.

You can’t finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to move on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages.

Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It’s a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go.

We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. Learn to appreciate the rainbow after cursing the rain. It’s just like loving again after experiencing pain.

Loving someone can’t be proven with just the way you feel, the words you say or the things you give.

If you’ve ignored yourself and sacrificed your own happiness for the one you love, you know what love means.

.THANK YOU.

SHIT is all i can say.
BAD and HURT is all i can feel.
CRY is all i can do.

Ouch.GARBAGE of EMOTIONS.

i'm juz speechless.
i dont noe what else shud i say.
i dont noe u anymore.
u've changed.alot.
who r u?*sigh.

You changed

A friendship broken,

and torn apart,
why couldn't we just,
go back to the start.

Your thoughts have changed,
your priorities too,
no cares any more,
I didn't know what to do.

You left me alone,
and complained it was me,
that nothings your fault,
and you just can't see.

Now you want it back
you want to make things right
but your now left alone,
as I walk away and out of sight.

You threw us away,
your life you re-arranged,
no more time for us you had,
your the one who's changed.


I relly hate it,
That things can't stay the same.
I just want to stop
Playing this stupid lifelike game.

I cried for you, lyke an idiot,
And yeah, I freaked out.
Why'd you have to change so much?
It just makes me want to shout.

Who the hell are you?
Where's the guy I used to know?!
I miss him a lot, you're a jerk,
And I want him to come back, and you to go.

Who do you think you are, then, huh?
You don't have the right,
To go around in his body, pretending
I'd like to see your real face in the light.

You're a monster, you know that?
God knows why I shed those tears.
You know, right now, I want to beat the crap out of you?
Why'd you have to change so much, the past few days?

This is HELL man.

.The World is .YOURS.

Yeah.
Today.i fill stronger than yesterdayy.

She says.."what for u r crying for the one who xreti nk appreciate u.Bodoh la u."
tq 4 d spirit.

haihh.its about heart.no medicine baaa.so smtimes mmg hav to act stupid.
tah laaa.smtimes i fill okay.smtimes i fill so baddd.
mood xmnentu.

if he can enjoyy with his girlfrens,forget about me.n come back n act innocent,y cant i?
BECAUSE.i relly jaga his heart.i try so hard not to hurt him.but then.what has happend?
things gone unfair.its not wrong to be frenz with otha ppl.but then if trlalu mesra, n lbh rpt ngn prmpn tu dr i,then lyke cara u act dgn i da laen,xmcm dulu.that makes me rs laen lahh.
drastically u'v changed.IT HURTS me.i fill lyke i'm no longer be beside u.we da xbnyk share stories..probs..nvm la.lgpon i bknnye sp pon.kwn u kan.dulu kwn rpt, skrg tah.mcm dah xbrp knl pon ade gak.:(



Oh god.
MY DIARY DAH HILANG.! :(

sayang, when u asked me..

"DIARY YOU HILANG EA?"
i sedih kot.actly u sndri sedar kan kite da jauh?ape boleh buat.bia laa.ppl changed.n so u r.

"WELL YA.MY DIARY HILANG!"

Missing you so much

Everyday when your not around

My heart aches even more

You fill the void

The void thats been missing

For some time now

That hasen't been filled

I miss you so bad..

.Psst.I can still fill the .EMPTINESS.

Haihh..

I can still fill the emptiness altho we're lyke kinda okayy.
i xrs rpt ngn u mcm dulu daa.
some kind of bond had been missing.
It makes me sadd.
but me myself,dont noe whats missing.

maybei'm d onewho'd gone wrong..or maybe the way u threats me agak laen,.entah la syg..
Later u bz lagi..n makin jauh lagi nanti i rs.
i juz donno what to do.nvm lah.better take these as my tasks.

U'r so great.making me fell so badly.*sigh.:(






Today..stayback..got bowl practice.hadoy.i was in baju kurung sekolah.sgt tidak selesa.market ouh..rmai tgk stail pelik ja.but who cares.?lalala...

kt skola first period got chem than phy.2 2 sub amatlah mntensionkan.haihhh.2 2 kna buat peka.gila kabot.
esok nih ha bio plak daaa.hmm.presentation x siapkan lagi.(after this lah).

Again tonite i'm not in the rite mood.i dont noe what's happening.fill lyke my world has turned upside down..It relly spins meeee.

Till then,gud nite..

I promised I would never leave
That I would always love you
And of course we would both know I was lying if I said I didn't...
Know I still love you...I really do.

I know you don't try to hurt me...
But, you see, you hurt me more than you could ever imagine
Don't hater yourself and please don't be sad
You deserve to smile and laugh
I'm only bringing you down...breaking everything we've ever had

You're still one of my best friends
And don't worry, you'll always have a hold on my heart
Once you love someone there's no turning back
There's no past tense to love and there will never be one
But really, I think we both need a fresh start

I'll beg you not to hate me...
But it's okay if you do
I would be mad if my best friend was leaving too
Hold onto our memories...and please don't forget me
Because one day, who knows, I might just come back to you

I'm still here if you need me
I'll always be here, promise
But i have to try and save myself
Something no one can do but me
Don't forget you help me more than you will ever see

I know I hurt you even though I don't try to
It's human nature really...
But even through all the hurt, we still love each other
I know I can make you laugh
And you sure can make me smile

Can I still be your best friend?
Will I still have a hold on your heart?
Though sometimes I wonder if you ever did love me at all...
I know that may be a silly thing to think

Do you hate me?
I hope not...
I don't know if I could handle knowing you hate me
It's bad enough that I'm not going to talk to you...
Remember I love you...
And one day I promise to come back to you



I've been praying you'd come back to me
I've prayed with all my heart
I've had so many sleepless nights
since we have been apart.

I can't remember smiling
for goodness knows how long
and everything l try to do
always turns out wrong.

Many nights l've been alone
thinking where you'd be
and wishing oh so very hard
that you were holding me.

I don't know how you're feeling now
or if you're crying too?
of if you're missing me as much
as l've been missing you..

*readers,u may laugh.=.=''

.Bad Dreams.

11 o'clock.class addmath until 3.15 skali then math.Duk sblah jiaa.(:

after that..trus g pusat mandu.kt jln ry nearly 1 hour.hr ni bwk xbtul skit.laju.smpy org tu suro prlhnkan klajuan.haha.mood xbtul.tu drive pon ikut mood.Alhamdulillah masih slmt.:D

aftr that blk rumaa.mknnn.dr pg xmkn.lapa kott.

then mlm,bt lapreport chem yg blm abes.till around 11.

tu je la kott.mls nk cite pnjg2.not in the rite mood ni.hmm.gud nite..

psst...
Bintang,
I Love You..<3

.Again.You appeared in my dream.

Well today..xde bt ape pon..
bt chem reports..then klua g bli buku jap ngn abg ariff.xsmpy stgh jam,blk rumah..

Dlm kul 12.30,rs cam xda mood gilaaa.then tdoo...smpy pkl 2.30.
bngn2..hadoyy.mngeluhh.
i dreamt bout u,syg..and of cozz.got somone ruined my supposed-to be sweetdream.ur gf.appear juga dy dlm mimpi tuh..so it was a noon-mare actly.:( makes me became more bad-mood and down.hmm.

when i wake up,g dapo..makann.lmbt lunch.my family smua da luch.so i ate alone.wahh.
hmm.keep looking at my phone.there txts.but not from u. until 5.54. my phone beepss. n it was u.i smile..but..hmm.i forced myself to not reply ur txt.u shud noe how my heart was beating fast n rely wanted to reply u..its relly hard for me to do this.
until 9.40.i actly juz wana wish u gud nite n tell u that i'm okay here...

I wasted my tyme bnyk sgt today.juz study chem.hmm.
got no mood to study.=.='' hate myself for not being professional.

Hadoii.sumpa i relly miss you.
i juz dont noe what to do.so i made lots of stars..
mcm org xbtul pn ada.haha.kip thinking of u while i was doing them.:(

i wonder..
u bt ape satu hari?
how r u?
do u miss me?
where did u go?
N with who?
where?
have u eaten?
lunch?dinner?
*sigh*


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
i fill lyke wana shout out so loud.:(
Altho i dint txt u...but i wish that i'll get ur text evryday.atleast i'll noe that u still remember me.:(

i better get off.nite.:(

Psst..I miss You Much Dear..
ILOVEYOU.<3
Wish u were here..

.Finally.Curtain Close.

Why is life so much like a play in a theatre? Why do we go with the drama, the twists and the turns, only to be disappointed by when it’s all over? And why do we have to take a bow whilst the curtain closes?

Why doesn’t the play just go on? Maybe because the audience wouldn’t be able to sit for eternity? Or maybe because the actors couldn’t handle it, their bodies giving up?

Perhaps life is just a reflection of theatre. Maybe it only ends because we can’t keep up, each event taking another piece of us whilst we tire, until there’s nothing left.

This means we all have to take our bow, we all have to watch our curtain close. Right?

But what if we're strong? What if we hold on to what’s inside, and never tire? That way we can’t die internally. So we can live on, becoming immortals.

But, so what of these immortals though? Even then, their play can’t go on for eternity, act after act.

So maybe, just maybe, the immortals have to take their bow. The curtain has to close.

Decisions made.
I'll be away.But not forever.I juz nid some space to breathe...(:

Bintang,

sorry coz x reply u..mms yg i hanta tu,my last msg juz 4now.i'm sorry.psst.dun wory,i'll be back.but then jgn la bile i dtg blk,u lupe i!

Miles away, yet so close
I hold you near my heart.
When the wind whispers
In your ear, listen to it
Carefully, and you'll be
Surprised at what you
Hear. My words will
Carry to wherever you
Are. I'll always love you
For what you are.

With endless miles, there’s just too much distance
I want to be with you and I just can’t stand it
My heart was yours for the taking
But now it’s shattered and breaking
I can’t stand to not hear your voice
But I guess I don’t have much of a choice
I never seem to be able to talk to you anymore
What good is all this painful silence for?
It’s just that I want to be with you
But there’s just nothing I can do
I’ll fly out to see you some day
Hopefully it’ll get rid of the pain


Dear readers,

gOod morning.today i bngn awal.;D
8 suda buka mata baaa.haha.
cant sleep pn.ngeh.
i was having my breakfast.roti.!n a cup of nescafe.
(;

for now xde story lagi.pagi2 nk ade story apenye.br prmulaan utk pg ni.haha.:D
laterr.;D

.My WHISPERS of HOPE.

I lie in my bed,
Thinking...
Of What if...
Or of what could have been..

I lie in my bed,
Imagining my future with you..
Would it be as I see it now?
Would I be torn into pieces?

We would know if we ever gave it a try..

I lie in my bed
Imagining my future without you...
Would it be as I see it now?
Would I be torn into pieces?

I will soon know, while I try to get over you.




Hell.Its destroying n it hurts me much.

i dont understand why all this must happens in this particular year.HAte Hate Hate.
it relly distracts me lah.i dont noe what shud i do.
wether leave u,ignore u for a while or what.
but i'll never break my promises.i'll be next to u.n be ur fren foreva..
i fill lyke my whispers of hope is destroying.. :(

bintang,
lately u mcm bz je kan.i sedih gile.kite cam da xrapat n makin jauh..n u pon mcm da xkisa bout me.i xnk ckp pape yg bt u rimas including this.bile ade ms u free,i juz nk make u smile n not to put burdens on u.i xnk u ulang prkataan "letih" bile dgn i.I'm sorry for not being a good friend tho.

These random thoughts
Full of worry
Full of tenderness
These feelings of wanting
To just spend even more
Time with you
I can sense you
Miles away..I miss You.


More than anything in the world
At this very moment
What I desire
Is your happiness..
What I pray for
Is your well-being..
What I wish for
Is for you to be okay..
What I long for
Is to be with you ..
I’m sorry, I’m clingy
I just miss you.

No matter where the wind blows,
No matter where we are.
I know we'll always be together,
Up close or from afar.

You'll always be within my heart,
You'll never leave my thoughts
You may not be right here, right now,
But I have the love you've brought.

Even, it seems, that in my dreams,
You are here even now.
In my mind, it's you I find..



Today is 1 April 2010.6 months left-spm
1 months left-mid year xm.
3 months left-trial.



damn.rs mcm still have nothing.0% knowledge.

BIGGEST TASK IS ON THE WAY,
with so much trouble and so much pain,

Examinations full of apprehension,
tension depression and what else should i mention,
bunking class , bunking tuition
how will i complete my never ending portion?

So many thoughts at once wont let me think
i can only console my self after which i wink
but deep inside i fear for that future ship
which is supposed to sail not sink..

There is still time, why dont i read?
there is still hope, a chance to lead,
its not late yet, its not over yet,
forget about the plant, care for the seed..

it isnt time to loose but to gain
try hard..

STRENGTH, I REALLY NEED YOU.



Say hi to the stars for me,
kiss the red rose and taste its magic,
take a fray for a magic ride,
sweet dreams.(: